Today is very real. It's here... it's now... it's almost as if it's fused with me. But tommorow, it will be a memory with a dream-like quality to it, and along with that, will come a level of uncertainty of weather today ever occured, that will grow with each passing day, as the memory fades. Eventually, since today was not very memorable, it will end up completely erased and I'll never get that day back. What if nothing that occured today had ANY residual echoing impact on me... what if nothing from this day enriched or changed me in any way? It will be like it never happened. It's as if my very existence was ommitted for that particular day by the universe. There are ALOT of days I don't remember... Probably 90% of my life is a series of unmemorable days. I'd like to believe that every single day matters... and that every moment effects who I am and who I become, as we are all a logical product of our experiences... the sum of our past. But maybe alot of it is superfluous waste. Days that are eventually flushed out of existence.

My self-made survey... one of the questions made me think alot. I dunno if I posted any thoughts on this already, but a freind and I once had some lengthy discussions on the soul/spirit. If we don't just rot in the ground when we die, one of the prevailing theories is that there is a spirit/soul that seperates from the physical body and continues existing. I couldn't previously wrap my brain around WHY it should be possible for the spirit/soul to carry the bodie's memories away with it, as memory is a function of the brain, a very corporeal organ. When you die, you don't get to take your flesh with you, so I figured if there was a spirit/soul that existed past death, it would probably not take actual memories with it... but I didn't see why it couldn't carry impressions and feelings with it... (heh... ironically... even though I now realize that emotions are a function of chemical and sensory receptors... serotonin and such... and you don't get to take that with you either... theoretically). But... duh... I'm so stupid. What point would there be to a faceless, characteristic-less phantom spirit? It wouldn't have any remenants of you, so you still would have ceased existing, and the spirit would be excess garbage really. Just a blank page. So if there is a spirit/soul that survives death, there's no point to it if it doesn't retain some memories. There wouldn't even be any point in pondering that possibility. It's the same as rotting in the ground. Although, there is something to be said for a spirit that only retains some sort of phantom impression... not the memories themselves... but perhaps a pattern of behavior... or a preference towards being a good person, or to malice... phantom impressions that, because of the close integration between the spirit/soul and body during life, have imprinted themselves on the spirit/soul. You may not remember you're name, birthday, and specifics. But you would retain some sort of "core being".